On the Edge of Burnout: When Life Loses Its Meaning – and Something New Begins to Awaken

There are moments in life when something feels off, even if everything appears “right” on the outside. You function, perform, live – but it feels like something is missing. An inner voice whispers: This isn’t all of who you are.

That’s how it began for me too. In the midst of a life filled with responsibilities and a rapid pace, I started to feel a deep longing for something more – a desire to understand myself and life on a deeper level. I had no idea where this journey would take me, but one thing I knew: I couldn’t continue as before.

I Am Not Who I Thought I Was

If someone had asked me a few years ago: “Who are you?” – I would have probably answered with a role, a title, a personality I thought was me. But through a profound inner process, I’ve realized something radical: I am not who I thought I was.

This insight has turned my life upside down – in a good way. It has been a journey through layers of influence, old patterns, and inner programming I didn’t even know I carried. But today I feel lighter. Clearer. More authentically myself.

When Old Patterns Control Your Life – Without You Knowing It

Through my education at the Yggdrasil shamanic school and guidance with Pål-Esben, it became clear how deeply influenced I was by my upbringing, family, and society’s expectations. I discovered that many of my choices and reactions weren’t really coming from me – but from learned patterns I had mistaken as part of my personality.

It was like driving a car with an invisible hand on the steering wheel, constantly pulling me away from my intended path. I couldn’t understand why things in life weren’t working out the way I wanted. Only when I began to recognize these patterns, and slowly but surely loosen their grip, did I truly start to feel free.

A New Inner Peace – and a New Rhythm

The most valuable thing I’ve gained from this journey is something I never expected to find: inner peace.

I lived life at a breakneck pace, both in my personal life and in my work as a teacher. I thought it was normal to push yourself constantly, recover during vacations, and endure everything – just a bit longer. It wasn’t until my body sent clear signals that I realized this couldn’t continue. I was standing on the edge of burnout – and barely recognized it myself.

Through guidance, I received clear advice: You need to change course now. Together, we created a plan that helped me rediscover breath, breaks, and presence. It took time. But with each small adjustment, something within me began to fall into place. And for the first time in a long while, I could experience stillness – not just around me, but within me.

The Peace That Makes Everything Possible

This peace isn’t merely the absence of stress. It’s like an inner foundation that enables meditation, feeling, sensing, and truly being present. From this place, I can now face life’s challenges with different strength – because I don’t lose myself in them so easily.

I’m not seeking a life of constant stillness. I still love being engaged and active. But I’ve learned to carry this peace with me – like an anchor – even in the midst of movement.

Learning in a New Way

Coming from a traditional education system, I’ll be honest – it was challenging to adapt to a new form of learning. There were no textbooks here. Just experience. Personal insights. And initially, I felt frustrated – until I understood why it was this way.

To develop as a shaman – as a bridge builder between worlds – theory alone isn’t sufficient. It must be experienced. It needs to be anchored in both body and soul. I had to learn to listen to myself – and trust what I experienced. That changed everything.

A Teacher Who Sees – and Challenges

Pål-Esben has been a crucial support throughout this process. He is clear, direct, and incredibly knowledgeable – but also genuinely present. He carries strong integrity and a deep understanding of how demanding this journey can be. He knows what he’s talking about because he has walked this path himself.

I’ve never felt judged. On the contrary – I’ve felt seen. And perhaps that’s the most important thing we need on such a journey: Someone who sees what we can’t yet see in ourselves.

An Education That Embraces All of Life

What I’m learning here isn’t just about shamanism – it’s about life. About death. About nature’s rhythms. About ethics, boundaries, love, and presence. About who I am, and who I can become.

It’s beautiful, challenging, demanding, and deeply meaningful.

I Have Found Home – Within Myself

Today, I see myself through entirely new eyes. I know I’m still in process, and I probably always will be. But one thing I know for certain:

I am not who I thought I was.

And that might be the most liberating thing I’ve ever understood.