THE MIDLIFE CRISIS – Nature’s Invitation to Spiritual Awakening
Perhaps you have everything you were told would make life complete — a stable job, a partner, children, a home, a car. The checklist is full, and on the outside it all looks exactly as it “should”. And yet… something inside you stirs. A quiet restlessness. A sense that something essential is missing. The spark feels dimmed. A subtle ache appears — sometimes as a vague longing you can’t quite name, sometimes as an emptiness you can no longer ignore.
Many call this a midlife crisis.
But what if it is something else entirely?
What if it is an invitation — a deep whisper from your soul asking you to wake up?
In this article, we look at the midlife crisis through a different lens: not as the end of a dream, but as the beginning of a new chapter. From a shamanic perspective, this phase can be one of life’s greatest callings — a sacred pause where you are invited to ask the questions you once avoided: “Is this truly all there is?” “What ignites my heart?” “What does my soul actually long for?”
It can become a doorway to a deeper understanding of who you are — and who you are meant to become.
We will explore why the midlife crisis touches so many people, what biological and psychological forces may be involved, and how this turning point can lead to genuine inner transformation. Along the way, I invite you to meet your emptiness, discomfort, and unrest not as enemies, but as signals — gentle messengers guiding you back to your heart, your soul, and your true nature.
Over the past two decades, I have met countless students and clients between the ages of 40 and 60 who find themselves in what is often described as a midlife crisis — or even a full-blown existential crisis.
What they all share is a deep, wordless emptiness inside — a quiet, persistent sense that something in their life no longer fits. Many describe it as an inner dryness, a frustration that is difficult to explain yet impossible to ignore.
The paradox is striking: this often happens precisely at the stage of life when a person “has everything.”
A family. Children. A home. A career. A solid income. Education. A car, a cabin, stability.
All the markers society tells us define success are firmly in place.
On the outside, life appears complete.
But on the inside?
It is as if the inner flame has dimmed. Joy over what once mattered has faded, and the sense of meaning begins to crumble.
How can a life that looks so full feel so painfully empty?
In this article, I explore a fascinating explanation — and share how the midlife crisis, seen through the eyes of a shaman, can actually be one of nature’s most powerful invitations to growth, healing, and spiritual awakening.
But before we step into the shamanic perspective, we will first look briefly at what modern medicine, psychology, and research tell us about the midlife crisis — a phenomenon that affects men and women in equal measure.
Midlife Crisis – A Universal Human Experience
The midlife crisis is neither a modern invention nor a personal failure. It is a deeply human phenomenon — a pattern that appears across cultures, continents, genders, and lifestyles. A large international study published in Social Science & Medicine in 2008 by Professor Andrew Oswald and his research team (ref. 1) analyzed life-quality data from more than two million people in 72 countries. Their conclusion was striking:
Across the world, no matter who we are or how we live, most people experience a significant dip in happiness during the middle years of life.
Professor Oswald put it simply in an interview with forskning.no (ref. 2):
“All humans are most vulnerable to reduced happiness in midlife.”
It doesn’t matter whether you’re married or single, have children or not, earn well or live modestly. External circumstances seem to matter far less than we might think. Again and again, the same curve shows up: a slow decline in life satisfaction that reaches its lowest point in the mid-40s, before rising again.
In Norway, the statistical low point appears around age 43.9.
But why does this happen?
That is something modern research cannot fully explain. Yet ancient shamanic traditions — along with deeper understandings of the human soul and psyche — offer remarkably insightful perspectives.
Biological Causes – When the Body Itself Calls for Change
A midlife crisis is not just a psychological or existential event — it is also deeply rooted in biology. Around the middle of life, the body begins to shift in ways we often don’t expect. Several of our key hormones gradually decline as we move toward our fifties, influencing everything from our energy and sleep to our emotional balance and sense of well-being.
Women: Menopause — an Inner Storm of Transformation
When a woman enters menopause, the body undergoes a powerful and natural transition. Hormonal levels begin to fluctuate and fall, which can lead to:
- restlessness and heart palpitations
- sleep disturbances
- mood swings and depressive feelings
- sudden waves of emotion or tears
- hot flashes and night sweats
For many women, this phase can feel like an intense rollercoaster — physically, emotionally, and mentally. It often arrives more abruptly, more strongly, or more unpredictably than expected, and it can influence identity, confidence, and overall life balance.
Men: Andropause — the Silent, Unspoken Men’s Menopause
Around 80 percent of men experience andropause, the male version of menopause. Yet while women’s symptoms are widely acknowledged, the male transition is often hidden — even though it can be just as challenging:
- reduced libido and erectile difficulties
- increased sweating, dry skin, and hair loss
- weight gain and loss of muscle strength
- irritability, anxiety, and sleep problems
- decreased bone density and persistent fatigue
For many men, this becomes a quiet identity crisis — a subtle loss of vitality, clarity, and inner strength, without the language or tools to make sense of what is happening.
The Good News — There Is Help
All of this can feel overwhelming.
But there are solutions.
Both women and men can experience significant improvement through proper medical support, thorough diagnostics, and balanced treatment with bioidentical hormones. For many, this brings dramatic improvements in health, energy, emotional stability, and overall quality of life.
Psychological Causes – When the Inner Landscape Begins to Shift
Psychology offers several explanations for why the midlife crisis touches so many of us. Even though everyone’s experience is unique, research reveals a set of common inner movements — subtle but powerful processes that tend to awaken as we reach the middle of life. Here are some of the most frequent ones:
• New limitations come into view
Around midlife, many people begin to notice that the body and mind no longer operate with the same strength, energy, or sharpness as in their “glory days.” The ambitions of youth may collide with a new reality where time, vitality, and possibilities no longer feel infinite.
• Grieving the loss of youth
For many, this is a quiet grief — almost invisible from the outside, but deeply felt.
The body changes. The pace slows. The mirror reflects a person who is no longer young.
It can awaken sadness, longing, or even a sense of unfairness.
• Unfulfilled dreams resurface
Looking back on life often brings a painful realization:
What happened to the dreams I once carried?
Some were postponed. Others were never pursued at all.
This can stir regret, longing, or a deep sense of “what if?”
• Awareness of mortality
Midlife brings something into focus that was easy to ignore earlier: life is not endless.
The reality of mortality comes closer, often igniting existential questions, inner restlessness, and a new seriousness about how we spend our time.
• Bitterness over past choices
Some feel the ache of paths not taken — love they didn’t dare to follow, careers they abandoned, truths they ignored, or inner callings they silenced.
This quiet bitterness can erode self-worth and create stagnation.
• Emptiness after reaching one’s goals
Another common experience is the shock of discovering that all the achievements, milestones, and material successes you worked so hard for… don’t create the deep and lasting fulfillment you expected.
What once felt meaningful suddenly feels strangely hollow.
• When the children leave home
Empty rooms in the house can turn into empty rooms in the heart.
Parents who have built their identity around caring for their children may find themselves facing an unexpected void when that role changes.
• The realization that time is finite
For some, midlife brings the recognition that certain choices are no longer available — whether it’s having children, changing careers, or reinventing one’s life.
This can evoke grief, anxiety, and the sense of standing at a profound crossroads.
The 80-Year Study on Happiness
When researchers at Harvard University asked the millennial generation — people born between 1980 and 1995 — a simple question, the answers were almost unanimous:
What is your most important goal in life?
Eighty percent said they wanted to be rich.
Half said they dreamed of becoming famous.
But what actually creates a good, happy, and meaningful life?
To uncover this, Harvard launched one of the longest and most remarkable studies ever conducted on human development: The Harvard Study of Adult Development.
Beginning in 1938, researchers followed a group of young men from the time they were 19 — and continued to follow them well into old age. Over more than 80 years(!) participants were regularly assessed through medical exams, blood tests, and deeply personal interviews.
And after eight decades of data, the conclusion is surprisingly simple — and profoundly human:
1. Wealth does not make you happy
Money, success, status, hard work, and fame had no lasting impact on happiness or health.
People who achieved these things were not happier or healthier than those who didn’t.
2. Good relationships are the key
What truly creates a long, healthy, and deeply fulfilling life is this:
Warm, stable, supportive relationships.
Partners, family, friends, and close connections act like an emotional immune system — protecting us from stress, loneliness, and the struggles of life.
3. Loneliness is deadly
Researchers discovered that loneliness is more harmful to health than smoking, high blood pressure, or alcohol abuse. Loneliness wears down both the body and the soul — and is one of the strongest predictors of poor health and inner emptiness.
This extraordinary study reveals something both simple and deeply true:
We need each other.
It is in our relationships — not our achievements — that real happiness is born.
The Midlife Crisis — A Pre-Programmed Turning Point
When we look honestly at how most of us live, it becomes almost inevitable that the midlife crisis hits as hard and as universally as it does. For decades, we’ve been conditioned to chase everything except what actually creates a healthy, joyful, and meaningful life.
We pour our energy into careers, titles, houses, finances, achievements — often without ever pausing to ask whether any of it truly gives us the deep fulfillment we long for.
And then, somewhere in the middle of life, something shifts.
It’s as if we reach a natural, built-in checkpoint — an inner crossroads where the soul finally has space to whisper a question we may have avoided for years:
“Is this really all there is?”
Suddenly, it becomes painfully clear that money, success, and material security don’t create the lasting joy or meaning we imagined we would feel once “everything was in place.” What we expected to be a triumph feels strangely empty. The outer accomplishments are not reflected by an inner sense of fulfillment.
This is why the midlife crisis is not a sign that something has gone wrong.
It is a deeply human, evolutionary calling.
A message from the soul saying:
It’s time to look deeper.
It’s time to discover what truly matters.
What Is It That’s Missing?
From a shamanic perspective, there is one core reason behind the deep inner emptiness so many people feel in midlife:
The soul came here to learn, to experience, and to grow through what only a human life can offer.
In its true nature, the soul exists beyond time, beyond space, beyond conflict and pain — and also beyond life’s everyday miracles:
the taste of a strawberry,
the warmth of another person’s presence,
the quiet transformation that happens when we meet a challenge with an open heart.
To make these experiences possible, the soul incarnates into a human body and willingly steps into a world defined by four essential limitations:
time, space, karma, and free will.
It is this quartet that makes human life so rich — and so demanding. And when we look at the world around us, the consequences of these limitations are unmistakable.
The soul did not come here to accumulate wealth, status, or recognition.
It came to experience what creates genuine meaning:
to understand itself, to heal, to grow, to love, and to evolve in alignment with its life mission and the deeper purpose of this incarnation.
The challenge is that many of us no longer remember what the soul truly longs for.
When we spend our lives chasing what matters little to the soul — while ignoring what deeply nourishes it — a gap slowly forms inside us. Over time, that gap grows into pressure. And when the soul’s inner call becomes strong enough, we can no longer suppress it.
That’s when the restlessness appears.
The frustration.
The emptiness.
And the symptoms of the midlife crisis rise to the surface — unmistakable and impossible to ignore.
The Path Back to Your True Nature
It is often in this phase of life that people begin to turn inward — toward the alternative, the spiritual, the intuitive and unseen. Not because they have failed in the “traditional” world, but because the traditional path no longer offers answers, meaning, or direction.
This does not mean that everything you have done so far has been wrong.
It simply means the soul is asking for a new course — a different way of living in the next chapter of life.
Over the past two decades, I have welcomed many students and clients standing in this profound existential transition. And while their experiences can be complex and deeply emotional, the solution is often far simpler than people expect:
A gentle reorientation back to the soul —
to its vision,
its needs,
its longings.
When we begin to understand what the soul truly came here to experience in this incarnation — and, more importantly, when we dare to live in alignment with it — something remarkable happens.
Life force returns.
Joy begins to rise again.
A new sense of inner direction emerges — clearer, brighter, more authentic than before.
From my experience, when people gain this insight and actually live it in daily life, they often undergo a profound transformation. Many free themselves from the midlife crisis within just a few months — not because they escape from life, but because they finally begin to live in harmony with who they truly are.
How to Discover What Your Soul Truly Wants
If you want to understand what your soul is genuinely longing for in this lifetime, there are fortunately some good places to begin. These articles offer a solid foundation — a doorway into the deeper layers of your being:
Yet even with this insight, hearing the soul’s voice clearly can be challenging at first.
The ego can be loud.
Old patterns can create static.
Doubt can blur the inner compass and make it hard to know whether a calling truly comes from the soul — or from familiar habits and conditioned expectations.
That’s why the simplest and most reliable path often begins here:
Seek guidance from a qualified spiritual teacher who can help you find the way.
A good teacher can see patterns you may overlook, ask the questions you didn’t know you needed, and help you navigate through resistance and confusion without unnecessary detours. They can save you years of searching — and give you a far clearer and more grounded beginning to your journey.
Of course, the challenge is finding the right teacher.
The spiritual landscape holds much beauty and wisdom — but also many paths that may not be safe, grounded, or genuine.
To support you in making wise choices, I recommend reading the article “ABC Guide to Finding Your Spiritual Teacher!”
It offers practical, trustworthy criteria that make it far easier to find a skilled, authentic and experienced guide — someone who can safely walk with you as you begin the profound journey back to your soul.
The Life Force That Awakens When You Follow the Path of The Heart
A midlife crisis is not a failure, a breakdown, or a sign that something is wrong with you. It is nature’s own wake-up call — an inner invitation telling you that the time has come to awaken.
This is the moment when life asks you to release old beliefs, roles, and ways of living that no longer support who you truly are.
It is an opening. A new space. A doorway back to yourself — to your heart, your soul, and the life force that has been resting quietly beneath the surface.
When you begin to follow this deeper inner path, something extraordinary happens: your energy returns. Joy returns. Clarity returns. You begin to feel that you are once again living in alignment with something real, something true, something that belongs to you.
If you want a clear, step-by-step introduction on how to walk this path in practice, I recommend reading the article:
Can You Avoid a Midlife Crisis?
A midlife crisis is not an unavoidable, genetically programmed checkpoint in life. It is not something everyone must pass through. People who actively live out projects, dreams, and visions that give them meaning, direction, and joy often find that the psychological aspect of the midlife crisis never truly takes hold.
When we are in continuous growth — when we create, learn, and move in harmony with what the heart longs for — the inner flame stays alive.
The biological and hormonal side of the midlife shift can also — at least to some extent — be softened. The right nutrition, a balanced weight, good sleep, and healthy physical activity can make a profound difference.
Strength training, for example, can help slow the natural decline of testosterone in men. This doesn’t mean everything can be prevented, but the body often responds beautifully when we treat it with care, movement, and nourishment.
I met my own “midlife crisis” early — at age 36 in 2003 — when a life-threatening burnout plunged me into a deep existential crisis. It was brutal, disorienting, and at times terrifying. But looking back, it was a turning point.
When I learned to understand — and eventually live — my soul’s vision, life began to open again. And after I turned 50, my life has become richer, more meaningful, and more fascinating than ever before.
That crisis became one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. It forced me to stop, to listen, and to search for what this life truly asks of me.
And perhaps the thing that brings me the most meaning today is helping others find their way out of their own crises — both the big and the small — and into a life that feels real, alive, and deeply fulfilling.
References
- Is Wellbeing U-Shaped over the Life Cycle? (PDF) https://www.nber.org/papers/w12935
- Midtlivskrisen rammer blindt, forkning.no, https://forskning.no/psykologi/midtlivskrisen-rammer-blindt/986686
- Harvard Study of Adult Development. https://www.adultdevelopmentstudy.org/
- Harvard University: Good genes are nice, but joy is better
- https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/
- TED Talk: What makes a good live? Lessons from the longest study of happiness. https://www.ted.com/talks/robert_waldinger_what_makes_a_good_life_lessons_from_the_longest_study_on_happiness
