Self-Regulation: Find Balance in Life Through the Art of Regulating Yourself

Mari found her way to me at the age of 23. She had been chronically exhausted with ME (myalgic encephalomyelitis) since she was 21. Before that, she had been an active, sporty girl, full of life. When I met her at one of my seminars, she was a shadow of herself. She lay at the back of the room and slept through most of the seminar; that is how tired she was. The doctors had more or less given up on her, and the only advice they had was to relax. It did not help. Today she is a woman full of life who looks forward to living. One of the main tools that allowed her to turn around both her physical and her emotional health is the subject of this article: the art of regulating yourself.

Anyone who commits wholeheartedly to regulating themselves in everyday life has an easier path toward a life of meaning, joy, and better health, and gets better results in every area of life.

Pål-Esben Wanvig

Self-regulation is one of the most exciting areas of personal and spiritual development: the art of consciously regulating our own thoughts, emotions, behavior, and actions, the motivation behind those actions, and our physiological and biological health.

Anyone who commits wholeheartedly to regulating themselves in everyday life has an easier path toward a life of meaning, joy, and better health, and gets better results in every area of life. At the Yggdrasil Shamanic School, we count self-regulation as one of the 9 Pillars of the Path of the Heart, and it is closely connected to the others: gratitude, forgiveness, and contact with nature’s healthy rhythms. You can read more about the pillars in the article “The 9 Pillars for Finding the Path of the Heart: The Way to Happiness, Meaning, and Shamanic Magic.” Here we go deeper into self-regulation itself, from the body’s own control center to the heart.

The body’s control center

The autonomic nervous system (ANS), also called the vegetative nervous system, is the part of the peripheral nervous system that controls the functions of all the internal organs. It regulates bodily functions such as body temperature, heart rhythm, breathing rhythm, digestion, salivation, blood pressure, urination, sexual arousal, and the dilation and contraction of the pupils.

The ANS consists of two parts. The sympathetic nervous system controls the “fight or flight” stress response. We depend on this part for tasks such as getting out of bed in the morning, running, fighting, or fleeing from danger. The parasympathetic nervous system controls rest and digestion, and it is essential for the body’s ability to regenerate and heal itself.

The autonomic nervous system is the body’s control center, responsible for regulating organs and organ systems. All the organs that lie outside our conscious control are the responsibility of the ANS. Put simply, the ANS regulates all the vital functions of the body. Without well-functioning regulation, the organs cannot work as they should, and then illness arises.

Illnesses caused by imbalance

The ANS keeps the body’s biological systems in balance. When this fails over a period of time, the following symptoms and illnesses can arise:

• problems with heart rate, blood pressure, body temperature, sweating, and bowel and bladder function
• chronic fatigue, dizziness, weakness, and cognitive impairment
• depression, sleep disorders, headaches, migraines, back pain, bacterial and viral diseases, irritable bowel syndrome, stomach ulcers, fertility problems, and menstrual problems
• all forms of chronic and degenerative disease

The main problem

Chronic inner stress is the main problem when the ANS is out of balance. It means that the sympathetic, stressed part of the nervous system is overactive even when we rest or sleep, when the parasympathetic part, which brings calm and regeneration, should normally be the most active. When the stress part is active around the clock, the body’s regenerative and self-healing functions suffer.

The state of the autonomic nervous system is easy to determine by measuring heart rate variability (HRV). The best-known measuring method is the EKG. There are also a number of apps and programs of varying quality that make HRV measurement available to everyone. The best known is the software from HeartMath. I myself now use the app and the chest strap from Autonom Health, the best HRV monitor I have used.

Your heart rate variability is how the time between heartbeats varies. The higher the variation, the better. When a doctor takes an EKG and the variation between beats is minimal, it can be a sign of serious heart problems. With healthy heart rate variability, the interval between beats varies a lot, measured in milliseconds. So it is not about having as even a rhythm as possible.

Measuring the autonomic nervous system

The best and most accurate method I have tried for finding out the state of my own autonomic nervous system is the solution from Autonom Health, which anyone can buy. In the article “How to Measure Chronic Stress and Burnout in a Simple Way,” I share my experiences with it.

What can you do yourself?

There is a lot you can do yourself to help the autonomic nervous system into balance. I have divided it into three areas: physical, emotional, and spiritual self-regulation.

We all know what it is like to shower in water that is too cold or too hot. We adjust the temperature until it is right. The same happens when we eat too much or too little, drive too fast or too slowly, or train too hard. The better we are at regulating our activities, the greater the balance and the better the results we achieve.

Self-regulation is the art of consciously regulating yourself, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Nature does this all the time: day follows night, activity is followed by rest, and each season has its rhythm. Primordial shamanism is nature’s path, and in practice, self-regulation means living by the same healthy rhythms in our own body, in our emotions, and in our heart.

Physical self-regulation

The body is a unique biological machine, able to keep its own functions and processes in healthy balance (homeostasis), even under extreme conditions. Certain factors help the autonomic nervous system maintain this balance:

• enough rest
• proper breathing technique
• enough quality sleep, at least 7–8 hours a night
• enough physical activity, at least 20 minutes of brisk walking a day, if your health allows it
• avoiding allergens that trigger the immune system unnecessarily, such as gluten, dairy products from cows, soy, FODMAP foods, and other foods you do not tolerate
• a healthy, balanced diet low in carbohydrates, rich in healthy fats, and with a balanced amount of protein

Every factor that is overlooked can, over time, lead to an imbalance that prevents the body from regenerating and healing itself. The result is illness.

Emotional self-regulation

Every time you stress unnecessarily or lose your emotional balance by becoming aggressive, frustrated, furious, or down, you trigger the stress part of the autonomic nervous system.

The method for handling negative emotional and mental stress is interrupt handling, which frees you from emotional states of suffering. It is described in the article “This Could Be Your Most Important Decision: Learn How to Live a Happy and Meaningful Life in Your Current Situation.”

Hara breathing, also called diaphragmatic breathing, is one of the simplest and most effective meditations you can do, and it takes only a couple of minutes to learn. The method triggers the body’s relaxation response: the sympathetic part of the nervous system calms down, and the parasympathetic part is activated.

Deep breathing is the only direct access we have to the autonomic nervous system. When physical and mental stress goes down, the balance is strengthened, and that can have a positive effect on high blood pressure, pain, headaches, various stomach problems, depression, and anxiety. Concentration, oxygen supply, sleep quality, and lung capacity can also improve. The problem is that most people take short breaths high up in the chest, and that activates the stress part of the nervous system.

The hara is the largest and most important energy organ in the body. It organizes, balances, and stores the life energy, what Japanese tradition calls ki, for the whole body. That is why the hara is central to centering, balance, and grounding.

Deep breathing is the only direct access we have to the autonomic nervous system.

Pål-Esben Wanvig

A practical exercise: hara breathing

Part 1

1. You can sit, lie down, stand, or walk. The meditation can be done anywhere.
2. Place one hand on your lower belly and the other on your upper belly.
3. Direct your attention to the hara, about two finger-widths below the navel, where your lower hand rests. Breathe in slowly for 5 seconds, so that both hands move outward.
4. When your belly is filled with air, breathe out slowly until your belly is flat, while keeping your attention on the hara. Both hands move inward. The deeper you can breathe in and out, the better.
5. Repeat steps 3 and 4 for a couple of minutes, until you feel centered and relaxed.

Part 2 is about consciously handling the thoughts that come up during the meditation, and it is done together with Part 1.

Part 2

1. When a thought arises, welcome it and send it on its way.
2. Direct your attention to the spot where your lower hand touches your belly.
3. Continue breathing correctly.

Repeat 1, 2, and 3 every time a new thought comes. At first, many thoughts often come, but as you acknowledge them and send them on, there is less mental chatter. Experience shows that many people notice a clear improvement within 2–3 weeks of 5–10 minutes of practice a day, especially if they also use interrupt handling in everyday life.

Spiritual self-regulation

The last area of self-regulation has to do with the heart, and the heart is in direct resonance with the soul. The more you are motivated by the heart’s primary emotions, such as happiness, passion, love, courage, empathy, care, and compassion, the closer you are to your essence.

The problem is that we are often driven by secondary emotions: fear, anger, hate, frustration, jealousy, greed, anxiety, fear of competition, and worry.

The more you are motivated by the heart’s primary emotions, such as happiness, passion, love, courage, empathy, care, and compassion, the closer you are to your essence.

Pål-Esben Wanvig

The art is learning to regulate ourselves so that we live from the primary emotions in everyday life, and so that the motivation behind our thoughts, behavior, and actions is guided by the qualities of the heart. Anyone can learn this, and it has a positive effect both on everyday life and on the autonomic nervous system. On the primordial shamanic path, this is the very core: the heart is the key to the soul, and in a person who lives from the heart, self-regulation happens almost by itself.

The results

Mari has developed enormously since I first met her. What turned things around was not one single step, but that she took hold of all three areas: her body got rest, breathing, sleep, and the right food; her emotions got tools such as interrupt handling and hara breathing; and her heart got room to guide her motivation again. Today she tells her own story of the road from desperation to a life of energy, meaning, and joy, and she points to the art of regulating yourself as one of the main tools on that road.

Almost all problems can be solved, and the solution is often closer than we think. Life can be well worth living if we choose it ourselves and get the right help. I wish you all the best on the road to good health, joy, hope, and meaning.

Do you want to go deeper? On my blog and in the podcast The Journey to Self-Realization, we explore the topics in this text in more depth.

If you want to walk the path yourself, it begins at the Yggdrasil Shamanic School with our free online course on primordial shamanism: Nature’s Path to Freedom and Self-Realization – Shamanism, Rituals, and Rune Magic – Twilight Between Two Worlds. No path could begin more simply. How far it reaches is up to you.

This content does not replace professional medical help from a doctor or other health professional, and it is not intended as medical treatment. If you are ill, always see a doctor first.