Your First Birth: The Original Pure Mind

Part 1 of the article series “The Path to Spiritual Enlightenment”, published in Norwegian in the magazine Medium (no. 2, 2024) and on wanvig.no. An earlier English version is on wanvig.no/en.

What if everything you think you know about yourself is just a thin layer of programming? The day you were born, you had a shining pure mind. No thoughts. No worries. Just pure presence and joy.

Then something happened.

Year after year, this clear consciousness was filled with other people’s rules, opinions, and expectations. Layer upon layer. Until you forgot who you really were.

Today, most of us live in a zombie state. The hamster wheel spins on autopilot. We do what we “should” do and think what we “should” think, without ever asking ourselves what we actually want.

But there is a way back. It begins with understanding what happens to us from birth to adulthood, and how you can begin to reverse the process.

What is spiritual enlightenment?

In our eternal search for meaning, we often encounter the concepts of “spiritual enlightenment” and “spiritual awakening.” A goal that seems as elusive as it is sought after. But what does it actually mean? And why do people in all cultures and in all ages long for this experience?

These are questions I asked myself at the beginning of my own journey of development. As a civil engineer, I was not exactly predisposed to mystical experiences. Quite the opposite. I was skeptical of anything that could not be measured and weighed. But then came the burnout in 2003, an experience that turned my life upside down and forced me to explore sides of reality I had never taken seriously before.

Enlightenment is often described as complete insight. Harmony with all that is. A state beyond time and space. The paths there are as many as the people who seek: the deep peace of Buddhist meditation, the ecstatic union with the divine among the Sufis, the Zen Buddhist’s sudden satori, the shaman’s gradual transformation through nature.

The longing for enlightenment has driven people out on great journeys. To discover themselves. To grow beyond themselves. To understand a reality that lies far beyond what everyday consciousness can grasp.

This series follows the path there, all the way to what shamans call “shamanic death.” The word may seem frightening, but shamanic death is not a physical death. It is the end of one way of being, and the beginning of an entirely new one.

I invite you along on the journey. It can change how you see the world, and how you live in it. Not because I have all the answers, no one does, but because I have walked this path myself and seen what is possible.

The original pure mind

The way into your own core requires courage. You must be willing to question everything you have learned. Everything you think you know about yourself. About the world. About reality. It is not easy. It requires you to let go of beliefs you may have held on to your entire life.

But the reward is enormous. In this exploration, you find not only your true self. You find a source of unlimited wisdom and joy. A source that has always been there, but has been hidden behind layer upon layer of learned beliefs and limitations.

The day you were born, nature gave you something incredibly valuable. An innocent, pure state. A blank canvas of consciousness. You came into this world without a single idea about who you were, what you would become, or what others expected of you.

A being full of life. Without thoughts. Without imprints. Only pure joy, vitality, and delight. Have you ever watched a newborn child? The total presence. The unconditional openness. The natural joy that shines from their eyes.

This is life’s fundamental state. A state of deep joy that is always there. Beneath everything else. Beneath the worries, the planning, the anxiety, and the stress. It is what remains when all the murkiness is washed away.

It is easy to believe that happiness is something we must achieve. Something we must work for, deserve, win. Experience shows the opposite. Happiness and joy are our natural state. What we call “unhappiness” is what gets layered on top: layer upon layer of fear, worry, and limiting beliefs.

Your first birth

The mind you were born with was not empty, but pure. Full of consciousness, but without the filters that would later shape how you perceive reality.

This consciousness that lives in you, and that gives life to your body, exists in all living things. It is the essence of life. It is the same consciousness that pulses in the trees, in the animals, in the ocean, in the stars. We are not separate beings who happen to find ourselves in a universe. We are the universe experiencing itself.

We came into this world without prejudice. Without preconceived opinions. Without the noise of the ego. That is our natural form: life experienced directly, immediately, without filters.

We are not separate beings who happen to find ourselves in a universe. We are the universe experiencing itself.

Pål-Esben Wanvig

This birth, what I call the first birth, happens for most people unconsciously. We do not consciously choose to be born. We do not remember the process. We gradually awaken to consciousness without understanding where we came from or why we are here.

In our shamanic tradition, we understand that this birth is governed by soul dispositions and karmic tendencies. We bring something with us from before. Not concrete memories, but patterns, inclinations, and unresolved themes waiting to be completed in this life.

This is not mysticism for mysticism’s sake, but a perspective that helps us understand why we are the way we are. Why certain challenges appear in our lives. And how we can work consciously with these patterns to free ourselves from them.

How you were shaped

Every blade of grass has enough consciousness to follow the sun across the sky. Every leaf on a tree is conscious. Wherever there is life, there is consciousness. And where there is consciousness, there is life. This is not poetry. In our tradition, it is a fundamental experience.

But then something happened to you.

Over time, an ego is built that claims to be the “self.” An ego that pretends to be you, all the time, for the rest of your life.

Pål-Esben Wanvig

When you were five, six, maybe ten years old, the people around you began to fill that clear consciousness. With words. Rules. Language. Social norms. Culture. Traditions. Religions. Opinions. Prejudices. All of this streamed into you, day after day, year after year.

These are the tools we need to survive in society. Without language, we cannot communicate. Without social norms, society would collapse. Without culture, we have no common frame of reference. All of this is necessary. But it also creates the foundation for the ego.

Over time, an ego is built that claims to be the “self.” An ego that pretends to be you, all the time, for the rest of your life. It takes up so much space that you forget there is anything else.

The ego is created from other people’s rules. Other people’s opinions. What is right and wrong. How you should behave. What you should think. What you should like and not like. Who you should be and not be.

By the age of twelve, you have no idea where you came from. That you are filled with consciousness. You have no idea about the true, original you. You believe that your thoughts are you. That your feelings are you. That your opinions are you.

Over time, this conditioning completely overshadows the original purity. We begin to identify with a “self” created by imprints, experiences, upbringing, and other people’s expectations. And we forget who we really are.

This did not happen because someone wished you harm. Parents, teachers, society: everyone did their best with the tools they had. But the process has a price. And we pay that price every day, often without knowing it.

The consequences

The consequences are easy to see. You only need to open your eyes.

Chronic illness is exploding. Depression. Anxiety. Burnout. Despair. Chronic stress. And this despite the fact that we have more material abundance than any generation before us. We live longer, have better health on paper, more comfort, more entertainment, more of everything. And yet we are more unhappy than ever.

Why? Because we have lost contact with our true nature. We live as strangers in our own lives, feeling what we “should” feel, without ever asking ourselves what we actually want.

It is rare that I meet adults who love their existence. Who have a joyful being. Who wake up in the morning filled with gratitude and joy. Most wake up to the alarm, check their phone, and start another day on the hamster wheel. Tasks. Chores. Stress. Meetings. Deadlines. Obligations. And then a short break in front of a screen in the evening, before it all starts again.

When I ask adults to name ten things that make them joyful like a child, few can answer. Work, career, productivity, and achievement do not count. Most have to think for a long time. Many cannot come up with ten things at all.

This is not normal. Life is not supposed to be like this. We have accepted an existence that would have been unthinkable for our ancestors. An existence where joy is the exception and stress is the rule.

My task in this life is to help change this.

We have accepted an existence that would have been unthinkable for our ancestors. An existence where joy is the exception and stress is the rule.

Pål-Esben Wanvig

The child as your teacher

Most adults believe that when a child is born, it is time to become teachers. We are supposed to shape this little being. Give it knowledge. Teach it how the world works. Prepare it for life.

But when a child enters your life, it is not time to teach. It is time to learn.

Look at yourself and your child. Be honest. Is the child not much more filled with joy than you? Is the child not much more present in the moment? Is the child not much more open to the miracle of life?

Perhaps your life was a zombie state before this little source of joy arrived. Day after day in the same track. The same thoughts. The same worries. The same feeling that something is missing.

But when a child enters your life, it is not time to teach. It is time to learn.

Pål-Esben Wanvig

Then the child came. And suddenly something happened. Now you laugh. Sing. Play. Crawl around on the floor. Do things you have not done in decades. Feel things you had forgotten you could feel.

Life unfolds because of them. Not because of you. They bring something back to you that you had lost. They remind you of who you once were. Who you still are, deep inside.

You can teach the child how to survive in the material world. How to tie their shoes. How to read and write. How to behave in social situations. This is important knowledge.

But the child understands more about life itself through direct experience than you do through all your concepts and theories. The child knows what it feels like to be fully present. You have forgotten.

Perhaps it is a good idea to learn what life is from them. Not the other way around.

Reversal: the path back to yourself

Do you want to walk a genuine spiritual path? Find the way to your true, pure, and timeless nature? Then you must reverse the process that brought you here.

This does not mean you should forget everything you have learned. You still need language, social skills, and knowledge of how the world works. But you must learn to see the difference between what is a tool and what is you.

Today you experience only the material part of yourself. Through an uncontrollable stream of thoughts and feelings. Thoughts that tell you who you are, what you can and cannot do, what is possible and impossible. Feelings that toss you from one state to another.

This material part can be seen as one small grain of sand in your Sahara. A tiny part of your true nature. Everything you think you are, your body, your thoughts, your feelings, your history, is just a grain of sand.

Most people believe the grain of sand is all that exists. They live their entire lives in this grain of sand. Worry about it. Defend it. Try to make it bigger, better, more successful. Without realizing that they are surrounded by an infinite desert of possibilities.

Experience, my own and that of many others throughout history, shows something different. The day you touch your full existence, your Sahara, everything changes. Not gradually, but from the ground up. Like waking from a dream you did not know you were dreaming.

When you realize that the ego’s “reality” is just a tiny grain of sand, your soul’s straitjacket, you experience a liberation that cannot be described in words. You must experience it yourself to understand.

Suffering, fear, frustration, meaninglessness, and hopelessness dissolve like dew in the sun. Not because the problems disappear, but because the perspective changes. What once seemed overwhelming becomes manageable. What once seemed meaningless gains meaning.

You gain new perspectives on what really matters. And you become able to live in a much more loving, constructive, and joyful way. Not because you strain for it, but because it becomes natural.

Illness will not necessarily cease on its own. But the suffering connected to it can cease. The pain may still be there, but your relationship to the pain changes. You are no longer trapped by it.

In such a state, you gain access to the source of knowledge. A wisdom that lies deeper than thoughts and words. This knowledge is in the consciousness you were born with. It holds knowledge of everything consciousness has experienced since the universe came into being 13.8 billion years ago.

Illness will not necessarily cease on its own. But the suffering connected to it can cease. The pain may still be there, but your relationship to the pain changes. You are no longer trapped by it.

Pål-Esben Wanvig

This may sound like a fairy tale. Perhaps even unlikely. I understand that skepticism. I had it myself. But I invite you to keep an open mind. Try. Experience. And judge for yourself.

The ego’s illusion

When you begin to explore the ego, you find that it is full of opinions and feelings. Layer upon layer of beliefs about who you are and how the world is. Much of this you cannot control. Thoughts come on their own. Feelings come on their own.

Habits grow stronger with the years. The capacity for self-control weakens quickly. You may notice it yourself. What was easy to change when you were young feels impossible now. The patterns have dug themselves in deep.

Then the ego takes over. An ego built by other people and society. It is not you. It is a construction. A role you have learned to play for so long that you have forgotten it is a role.

But the ego is not an enemy. It is not something you should fight, suppress, or destroy. The ego is a necessary tool that helps us find our way in the material world. Without it, you could not function in everyday life.

The problem arises when we identify too strongly with it. When we believe the ego is us, instead of a tool we use. Then it leads to suffering. Because the ego can never give us what we truly seek.

The ego is a necessary tool that helps us find our way in the material world. Without it, you could not function in everyday life.

Pål-Esben Wanvig

The ego is impatient. It is tied to matter, limited by time and death. It knows, on some level, that it is temporary. That it will one day cease. And this knowledge drives it to seek constant confirmation. Ever new reassurances that it is important, valuable, lasting.

It fears its own dissolution. And this fear colors everything it does. All its projects, all its ambitions, all its worries are, at bottom, about surviving. About persisting.

When you understand this, you begin to see the ego with new eyes. Not as an enemy, but as a confused child in need of guidance. A child that has taken on a role it is not really capable of filling.

The second birth

In the next part, we look at shamanic death, also known as ego death.

This is a dramatic shift in consciousness, described in all the world’s spiritual traditions under different names. In shamanic traditions, it is a central part of the initiation process. A threshold that must be crossed for the true power to awaken.

This “second birth” is not a physical death. The body continues to function. The heart beats. The lungs breathe. But something dies nonetheless. The old identity. The old way of understanding oneself. The old way of being in the world.

It is a deep and conscious transformation, often demanding. It can feel frightening and confusing. Everything you thought you knew about yourself is put to the test. The ground you have stood on begins to shake.

But on the other side, something new awaits. A clarity that cannot be imagined before you have experienced it. A freedom greater than anything the ego could ever achieve.

It is the transition from ignorance to insight, from confusion to clarity, from living in the grain of sand to waking up in the Sahara. This is a prerequisite for spiritual awakening and enlightenment.

The next part goes deeper into this process: what it involves, how it is experienced, and how you can prepare for it.

Do you want to go deeper? In the podcast “The Journey to Self-Realization” (in Norwegian), Amina and I walk through the same terrain in conversation: episode 27, “Spirituell opplysthet – hva det er, og hva det ikke er” (Spiritual enlightenment: what it is, and what it is not), and episode 28, “Den andre fødselen” (The second birth). On my blog you will find more articles on the path to Unity. See also “Karma and Karmic Cycles Can Create Suffering and Problems: Here’s How to Break Them and Find a Life of Deep Meaning” and “Learn How to Love Your Karma,” on what we bring with us into this life.

If you want to walk the path yourself, it begins at the Yggdrasil Shamanic School with our free online course on primordial shamanism: Nature’s Path to Freedom and Self-Realization – Shamanism, Rituals, and Rune Magic – Twilight Between Two Worlds. No path could begin more simply. How far it reaches is up to you.