Killing the Ego Through Shamanic Death

Part 2 of the article series “The Path to Spiritual Enlightenment”, published in Norwegian in the magazine Medium (no. 3, 2024) and on wanvig.no. An earlier English version is on wanvig.no/en.

Do you have to die to wake up? It sounds dramatic. Maybe frightening. But stay with me for a moment.

When I lay burned out in bed in 2003, unable to work, unable to function, I thought my life was over. As a civil engineer, I had always trusted what could be measured. What could be proven. What fit into my spreadsheets.

But the spreadsheets could not save me.

In the darkest weeks, I discovered something that changed everything. Something that has proven true for several thousand people I have guided since: Before you can be born again, something in you must die.

Not your body. Something else.

What the ancient shamanic traditions call “shamanic death” sounds mystical, but it is about something deeply practical: how you can return to the innocent joy you once had as a child.

That joy still exists within you. Buried under layer upon layer of expectations, wounds, and stress.

And it can be unearthed again.

The innocent child within you

Close your eyes for a moment.

Picture a small child playing in the forest. It tosses leaves into the air and laughs out loud. Not because it is going somewhere. Not because it is trying to achieve something. But simply because it is fun. Because it feels good in the whole body.

This child is you.

Or rather: it was you. Long ago, when you came into this world with a mind so pure and clear that nothing clouded your joy.

In the first part of the series, “Your First Birth: The Original Pure Mind,” I wrote about this state. About how we all begin with a shining pure mind. Without prejudice. Without preconceived opinions. Without the ego’s constant noise.

That state is not gone. It is only hidden under everything life has laid on top of it since.

People who are born twice

In India’s ancient spiritual traditions, there is a concept that has stayed with me for many years. A concept that holds deep wisdom about human transformation.

They call spiritually enlightened people “dvija.”

It is a Sanskrit word, द्विज, that means “twice-born.”

Twice-born.

Your first birth was a gift. It happened without your conscious participation. You slid out into the world from your mother’s womb, and with you came this innocent purity and joyfulness that every newborn child carries.

But this birth was also governed by your karmic tendencies. The patterns you carry with you from previous lives: experiences, traumas, lessons, and unresolved tasks that your soul has chosen to continue working on in this incarnation.

In the original pure mind, you still had full contact with your true nature. Your soul. Your essence. All the timeless and spaceless sides of you.

But your brain, the “interface” that connects your soul nature with the material world, was not yet fully developed. It was open. Receptive. Malleable.

And therefore also deeply vulnerable to everything that came from outside.

When joyfulness slowly fades away

It did not take long.

Society’s quiet but strong influence began to wear away the child’s joyfulness. Often before the teenage years. Sometimes as early as five or six years old.

It happens so gradually that we barely notice it.

A comment from a teacher that makes us doubt ourselves. An experience in the schoolyard that teaches us it is dangerous to be different. A parent’s stress that we unconsciously take on as our own responsibility. A disappointment that closes a door in our heart.

Bit by bit. Layer upon layer. Year after year.

The original purity of consciousness becomes overshadowed. We begin to identify with a “self” created by our experiences, our upbringing, and society’s rules and expectations.

We forget who we really are.

We believe the grain of sand is all that exists.

Access to our true nature becomes blocked. Our brain, the interface, is now so conditioned by outside influences that the signals from the soul barely get through anymore.

And the result?

Look around you

The longing for material goods, success, and career dominates everything else. Everything people can believe in must be measurable by the five senses. What cannot be proven scientifically is dismissed as fantasy.

Perhaps you have heard it yourself.

“Alternative stuff is just nonsense.”

“There are no beings of light.”

“Give me proof that what you are talking about exists.”

“Are you still doing that nonsense?”

“Quantum physics is not serious science.”

I know these voices well.

As a civil engineer, I was one of them myself. I trusted only what was measurable, what could be proven, and the logical models I had learned to live by.

I was proud of my rationality. My ability to separate facts from feelings. My resistance to what I called “mystical nonsense.”

Then I became seriously ill.

In 2003, a life-threatening burnout hit me with a force I could never have imagined. My body collapsed. My mind was in chaos. And conventional medicine, which I had always believed in, stood completely helpless.

The doctors could not help me.

The pills did not work.

I was heading toward permanent disability, or worse.

And it was then, in my most desperate hour, that I was forced to open my eyes to the possibility that there might be more than what I could measure. More than what my spreadsheets could capture.

It was my first, tentative step out of the hamster wheel.

Life in the hamster wheel

It is strange to see how so many people who reject everything but material facts conclude that they have understood what life is about.

How can you have understood it when you are in the middle of a hamster wheel?

A wheel that spins and spins without end.

Filled with an endless stream of tasks. Chores. Deadlines. Obligations.

New house. New cabin. New car. New kitchen. New iPhone. New projects.

Stress. Fear. Worries. Sleeplessness.

Illness. Exhaustion. Medication.

Frustration. Career chasing. Comparison with others.

Burnout. Depression. Anxiety.

Loneliness. Lack of hope. Emptiness.

Arguments. Misunderstandings. Broken relationships. Divorces.

War and unrest, in the world and in our own inner life.

This is not normal.

It is completely detached from the rhythms nature shows us, the blueprint for our own healthy rhythms.

Look at a tree. It does not chase. It does not stress. It does not compare itself to the tree beside it.

It simply grows. Calmly. Patiently. In step with the seasons and its own inner potential.

Look at a tree. It does not chase. It does not stress. It does not compare itself to the tree beside it.

Pål-Esben Wanvig

We were meant to live this way. In harmony with nature’s rhythms. In contact with our true nature.

But most people have lost this contact. With nature. With the pure mind of the innocent child within themselves. With their soul.

Most believe that the material reality we live in is all that exists.

It is like believing that one grain of sand in the Sahara is the whole Sahara.

And then the dark night comes.

The dark night of the soul

“The Dark Night of the Soul.”

I first encountered the concept in the middle of my own darkest period. And it hit me like a bolt of lightning.

For here was a concept that described exactly what I was experiencing. Something that told me I was not alone. That others had been here before me. That this actually had a name and a meaning.

The term comes from the Spanish mystic John of the Cross in the sixteenth century. He was a Carmelite monk and poet, and used it for a stage in the mystical process where a person feels deeply separated from God or the divine.

But it is not limited to monasteries five hundred years ago.

It happens to people everywhere. Every day. In all cultures and social classes.

Perhaps it is happening to you right now.

What is the dark night of the soul?

The dark night of the soul is a period of deep inner turmoil and uncertainty. A spiritual or existential crisis in which your previous sense of meaning, identity, or purpose is challenged.

Or completely lost.

You feel abandoned. Lonely. It is like wandering through a dark place without light or guidance. Nothing makes sense anymore. Everything you thought you knew about life and yourself is shaking.

You struggle with the big questions. What is the meaning of life? Why do I suffer? Who am I really? What do I believe in?

It can be intensely difficult. Emotionally painful. Sometimes overwhelming.

I have been there. It hurts. It is confusing. It is frightening. It feels as if the ground disappears beneath your feet, and you fall into a darkness without a bottom.

But the dark night is not the end. It is the beginning.

It breaks down the old self and paves the way for a deep transformation. A necessary stage that leads to deep renewal, if you have the courage to go through it.

For seen from the soul’s point of view, from your essence and true nature, “The Dark Night of the Soul” is something entirely different from what it feels like when you are standing in the middle of it.

It is the period from when you lost contact with your spiritual nature, sometime between the ages of five and fifteen, until you decide that the time is ripe to wake up.

It is your soul’s call to you.

A call that says: “It is time to come home now.”

That is when your soul’s Epic Journey can begin.

Do you feel the call within you?

Do you feel a curiosity awakening in you right now, a longing for something more, something deeper, something truer? Then I invite you to become better acquainted with your soul’s Epic Journey.

In our tradition, we have a power animal for this journey: the hummingbird.

The hummingbird is among the smallest of all birds, but it has the longest migration route relative to its body size. It flies thousands of kilometers, driven by an inner wisdom that tells it there is something waiting on the other side.

It does not stop because the journey is long. It does not stop because it is difficult. It follows its inner call. You will find an introduction to the soul’s Epic Journey in the article “When Life Feels Empty and Without Meaning: Are You Ready to Begin the Soul’s Epic Journey?”

The prerequisite for the second birth

The second birth is not a physical death.

It is not something that happens to your body. It is not a mystical ritual in which you must go through physical pain or extreme ordeals.

The second birth is a deep and conscious transformation, often demanding.

A transition from ignorance to insight, from confusion to clarity, from ego and numbness to the innocent joyfulness that is the prerequisite for spiritual enlightenment.

In other words:

The second birth is a reversal of the process that led you into the hamster wheel’s limitations and suffering.

A journey back to the innocent, joyful state and the pure mind you came into this world with.

Back to full contact with your soul and your spiritual nature.

Back to unity with all that exists.

But there is an uncomfortable truth here. A truth many do not want to hear.

If you wish to be born again in this incarnation, you must first die.

You must first die

Not physically.

A physical death would only send you unconsciously on into the next incarnation, governed by your karmic tendencies. And the same cycle you have experienced in this life, the same pain, the same patterns, the same limitations, would repeat itself.

That is not the death we are talking about.

No, this is a death of what you today call “yourself.”

A breaking down of the old self’s ego structures.

We call it a shamanic death.

And this death happens one hundred percent consciously.

What is a shamanic death, really?

When people hear the word “shamanic death,” many think of dramatic images from films and documentaries. Painful rituals. Extreme experiences. People lying in graves. Walking on hot coals. Fasting for weeks in the desert.

This has little to do with the real shamanic death.

A shamanic death is not physical pain.

It is a longer process of development and change in which the ego goes from being the soul’s ruler to becoming the soul’s advisor.

From ruler to advisor.

The ego does not disappear. That is not the goal. The ego has an important function: it helps us find our way in the material world, make decisions, and set boundaries.

But the ego was never meant to rule. It was meant to serve.

The shamanic death is the process in which the “self” is broken down and rebuilt. A reorientation of intellect, identity, ego, and the karmic memory you have access to.

But the ego was never meant to rule. It was meant to serve.

Pål-Esben Wanvig

The only pain you will experience?

The resistance from the ego when its power and position are threatened.

When you begin to change how you think. Your habits. Your behavior. Your reaction patterns.

The ego will fight back. It will feel uncomfortable. Perhaps frightening. Perhaps you will meet resistance from people around you who prefer that you remain who you have always been.

But that is not the same as physical pain.

It is growth.

It is transformation.

It is being born again.

Step by step: how do you begin?

Over more than twenty years with several thousand students and clients, I have developed a well-tested developmental journey that goes step by step.

When my students want to go through this process of change, we do not start with the most advanced. We build the foundation first. Stone by stone. Step by step.

The first focus is mastering the Seven Golden Keys, which I describe in my book Beyond Positive Psychology: A Journey from Burnout to Enlightenment:

Golden Key #1: Mastering the Art of Consciousness. Consciousness is the foundation of all change. Without consciousness of where you are and who you are, you cannot move toward who you can become.

Golden Key #2: Mastering the Art of Self-Responsibility. Taking full responsibility for your own life, without blaming others and without seeing yourself as a victim, is perhaps the most liberating discovery you can make.

Golden Key #3: Mastering the Art of Exercising Your Free Will. You always have a choice. Always. Even when it does not feel that way. Truly understanding and using your free will is the key to creating the life you want.

Golden Key #4: Mastering the Art of Self-Motivation. External motivation is fleeting. True motivation comes from within: from your values, your vision, and your connection with the soul.

Golden Key #5: Mastering the Art of Creating a Strong and Healthy Self-Reliance. Not the inflated self-confidence that comes from the ego, but the quiet, deep trust in yourself that comes from knowing your true worth.

Golden Key #6: Mastering the Art of Cultivating a Strong and Healthy Character. Your character is the sum of your values and actions over time. It can be consciously shaped and strengthened.

Golden Key #7: Mastering the Art of Cultivating True Fulfillment. Not the fleeting satisfaction from external success, but the deep fulfillment that comes from living in line with the soul’s purpose.

The 9 Pillars for the Path of the Heart

Once this cultivation is well under way, we continue by living out the 9 Pillars for finding the Path of the Heart in everyday life.

The heart is something other than a muscle that pumps blood. At the Yggdrasil Shamanic School, the heart is the gateway to the soul. It is through the heart that we find our way home.

Pillar 1: Become a master of gratitude. Gratitude is a practice that shapes the brain and opens the heart, not just a pleasant feeling.

Pillar 2: Become a master of forgiving yourself and others. Forgiveness is not about approving what has happened. It is about setting yourself free from the burden of hatred and bitterness that keeps you trapped in the past.

Pillar 3: Become a master of physical, emotional, and spiritual self-regulation. Being able to regulate your own states, not suppress them but steer them consciously, is one of the most important skills you can develop.

Pillar 4: Become a master of building a healthy value system and a strong personal character. What do you really stand for? What are your core values? And are you living in line with them?

Pillar 5: Become a master of seeing the glass as half full. This is not about naive positivity, but about training the brain to see possibilities rather than limitations. About choosing your perspective consciously.

Pillar 6: Become a master of healing your Almighty Syndrome. The belief that you know what you actually do not know. This syndrome creates a great many limitations, and the healing is liberating.

Pillar 7: Become a master of healing perfectionism. Perfectionism is not a virtue. It is a prison that keeps you trapped in the fear of not being good enough.

Pillar 8: Become a master of understanding and living out nature’s healing rhythms. Nature is our greatest teacher. Its rhythms, the seasons, the cycles of the sun and the moon, the tides of the ocean, show us how we are meant to live.

Pillar 9: Become a master of understanding and living out your soul’s desires and life mission. You are here with a purpose. Your soul chose this incarnation for a reason. Discovering and living out this mission may be the most meaningful thing you can do.

The deeper work

Once the foundation for the shamanic death has been laid, we begin the more far-reaching part of the process.

This is the work that goes beneath the surface. Into the layers of crystallized pain and unresolved experiences that have accumulated over years, perhaps over several lives.

Here we work with healing crystallized karmic memory and signatures in the chakra system and the light body. The energetic deposits that keep you stuck in old patterns.

We work with dissolving karmic cycles and complex karmic bindings. The repeated patterns that make you attract the same situations and relationships over and over again.

We activate the hummingbird power for the soul’s Epic Journey. The inner wisdom that knows the way home.

We work with advanced mantra work. The sacred sounds that resonate with the universe itself and open doors in consciousness.

We facilitate reunion with your spiritual mother and father and your spiritual heritage. The deeper family you belong to on the soul level.

We work with healing and release from energetic, dogmatic, and religious imprints connected to guilt, shame, and fear of death. Burdens that may not even be your own, but that you have inherited from generations before you.

We use advanced structural magic with the runes.

And many other effective methods for deep healing.

All to set you free from the ego’s straitjacket.

No one can be objective about themselves. We all have blind spots. We all have defenses we do not see.

That is why it is important that you have a qualified spiritual teacher to help you through the shamanic death. Someone who has walked the path themselves. Someone who can see what you cannot see. Someone who keeps the space safe while you change.

No one can be objective about themselves. We all have blind spots. We all have defenses we do not see.

Pål-Esben Wanvig

How to recognize true awakening

Without having been through a comprehensive ego death process, the second birth cannot happen.

That is not an opinion. That is how this transformation works.

And this gives us a way to see whether a person has truly undergone a spiritual awakening, even when that person claims to be enlightened.

How?

By observing them in everyday life.

How do they relate to forgiveness? Can they truly forgive, not just in words, but in action and energy?

Do they take full responsibility for their actions? Or do they blame others, circumstances, fate?

Do they live with integrity and honesty? Or do they say one thing and do another?

Do they master self-regulation in daily life? Or do they swing uncontrollably between emotional states?

These are the foundations of a shamanic death. And therefore the foundation for real spiritual awakening and spiritual enlightenment.

Words are easy. Actions tell the truth.

Be careful with those who talk a lot about enlightenment but live in a way that does not show it. Be especially careful with those who use spirituality to manipulate, control, or create dependency.

A real spiritual teacher wants your freedom, not your dependency.

What awaits on the other side

As long as you are not willing to go through your shamanic death, a new birth in this life is out of the question.

It is a hard truth. But it is the truth.

As long as you are not willing to go through your shamanic death, a new birth in this life is out of the question.

Pål-Esben Wanvig

You can read all the books. Attend all the seminars. Meditate for hours. Talk about spirituality to everyone you meet.

But without the will to let the old self die, not be adjusted a little, but die, the second birth will not happen.

But if you choose to take this step?

After the comprehensive shift in consciousness and way of living that the shamanic death entails, the second birth can begin.

And then something great happens.

You will once again be filled with innocent joyfulness.

But this time fully conscious.

Not the unconscious joyfulness of a child who has not yet met life’s challenges. But a deeper, fuller, and more conscious joyfulness. A joyfulness that has been through the fire and come out on the other side.

Fear will stop running your life.

Frustration will lose its grip.

Lack of hope will be replaced by deep trust in life.

Emptiness will be filled with meaning.

Hopelessness will be transformed into vision.

The need for the endless chase after more, more, more will cease.

And this joyfulness can never be taken from you again.

For it does not depend on external circumstances. It does not come from something you have or do. It comes from who you are.

It comes from having found your way home to yourself.

You will experience and live the complete awakening that is also called spiritual enlightenment. That is the topic of the next part.

Do you want to go deeper? In the podcast “The Journey to Self-Realization” (in Norwegian), Amina and I walk through the same terrain in conversation: episode 28, “Den andre fødselen” (The second birth), and episode 29, “Sjamandød og the dark night of the Soul” (Shamanic death and the dark night of the soul). On my blog you will find more articles on the path to Unity. See also “The 9 Pillars for Finding the Path of the Heart: The Way to Happiness, Meaning, and Shamanic Magic,” and “Karma and Karmic Cycles Can Create Suffering and Problems: Here’s How to Break Them and Find a Life of Deep Meaning” and “Learn How to Love Your Karma,” on the patterns you carry with you from previous lives.

If you want to walk the path yourself, it begins at the Yggdrasil Shamanic School with our free online course on primordial shamanism: Nature’s Path to Freedom and Self-Realization – Shamanism, Rituals, and Rune Magic – Twilight Between Two Worlds. No path could begin more simply. How far it reaches is up to you.